Tangents Stories

Billy Graham apologizes for leaving us alone with son Franklin

Speaking from his new home in heaven, the Reverend Billy Graham apologized to earthbound humans for leaving them alone with his son Franklin Graham. “My sincere apologies,” said Graham. “I held on as long as I could. He means well, although I know that he does a really good job of ticking eveybody off. Just remember my good work and my best wishes, and try not to let my son completely obliterate my message and progress.” Speaking from hell, the Devil announced that Franklin Graham would be

Trump lawyers pay Nunes $130,000 for "services rendered"

Days after Senator Devin Nunes authorized the release of a highly questionable memo, investigators found that Nunes was paid $130,000 by President Trump’s lawyers, authorized through a private LLC. “Wait … you found out about that too?” asked one Trump lawyer. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. Trump just wanted to thank him for services rendered … meaning snacks. That’s it. Really expensive M&Ms and snacks.” While Nunes is reportedily not allowed to talk about the settlement due to a confidentality

Tom Brady asks for contract renegotiation with Devil after Super Bowl loss

After a heartbreaking loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl, a visibly frustrated Tom Brady told reporters that he would seek to renegotiate his contract with the Devil. “I thought that we had a deal,” Brady told reporters. “Yes, the Devil did give me a golden fiddle and five Super Bowl titles in exchange for my eternal soul. But this game was supposed to be my crowning achievement. I think it’s time I consider my options and see what’s best for me going forward.” The Devil is