Tangents Stories

Conspiracy theorists demand to see Trump’s girth certificate

Conspiracy theorists around fhe country flooded news media with requests to see President Donald Trump’s girth certifigate. “The public has a right to know,” said Gerald McRainey of Deerborn, Michigan. “The White House’s doctor says that he’s 6’3” and 239 pounds? Only in a funhouse mirror. Look at the gut on that guy. Every time he swings a golf club, it causes a flablanche. No wonder the secret service has to keep people away. They might get hurt! We need a doctor in Kenya to tell us the truth

Trump eagerly asks, 'Can I start using the n-word now?'

Fresh from the fallout from referring to African countries and Haiti as sh-tholes, Trump is eagerly asking aides and colleagues when he can start using the n-word. “I’ve said everything but that word,” Trump has reportedly said. “I wanna be bold. I wanna be the first sitting president since Andrew Jackson to use that word … and use it a lot!” In what has been described as a victory lap of testing-out scenarios, Trump has been practicing the worst possible places to use the word and how to use

Another Sort of Lonesome

A bird sings. I don’t know which one.  Didn’t listen to the older women,  the ones who knew. A sofabed. Almost dawn. The dark shedding itself in stages, the lush shadows of trees against a blue without sun. A boy’s breath beside me, in sleep. My perpetual reign of insomnia. Belly grumbling, hungry for something other than beers, boys and cigarettes. Soon, I will escape this sleepless place driving someone else’s car through Virginia’s morning curves returning to another sort of lonesome. Until