Tangents Stories

Trump lawyers pay Nunes $130,000 for "services rendered"

Days after Senator Devin Nunes authorized the release of a highly questionable memo, investigators found that Nunes was paid $130,000 by President Trump’s lawyers, authorized through a private LLC. “Wait … you found out about that too?” asked one Trump lawyer. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. Trump just wanted to thank him for services rendered … meaning snacks. That’s it. Really expensive M&Ms and snacks.” While Nunes is reportedily not allowed to talk about the settlement due to a confidentality

Tom Brady asks for contract renegotiation with Devil after Super Bowl loss

After a heartbreaking loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl, a visibly frustrated Tom Brady told reporters that he would seek to renegotiate his contract with the Devil. “I thought that we had a deal,” Brady told reporters. “Yes, the Devil did give me a golden fiddle and five Super Bowl titles in exchange for my eternal soul. But this game was supposed to be my crowning achievement. I think it’s time I consider my options and see what’s best for me going forward.” The Devil is

NFL announces that Puppy Bowl will perform 2019 Super Bowl halftime

After much thought, the NFL announced today that they will turn next year’s Super Bowl halftime over to Animal Planet’s “Puppy Bowl.” “Let’s face it,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell. “Nobody gives a toss about who’s performing during the Super Bowl. It’s expensive, the sound always sucks, and nipples might occasionally pop out. After realizing that everyone turns the channel to “Puppy Bowl” during halftime, we realized that we might as well bring ‘Puppy Bowl’ to them. And they’ll probably