By Carl Fulmer
Our first mistake was going to the Southern Christmas Show (through November 20) on Veterans Day. The second mistake was waiting until 11am to arrive. The crowd this year was insane. My mother and I have gone to the show for more than 25 years and had never seen a crowd this heavy. I even came up with a new term to describe my experience: The Christmas Apocalypse. I heard someone say that the doors had to be closed about half an hour after we got there due to the overwhelming numbers, but I also heard that the day before was pretty light. The herd of early Christmas shoppers were buying product, though, and if this crowd represented an upward trend in the economy, then America will be all right.
My father and brother never had any interest in going to the Christmas show and the first time my mother asked me to go, all those years ago, I figured, “What the hell. Maybe she’ll buy me something.” She did, and I have kept going with her.
We have had our disagreements over the years, as family will have when they are together for hours on end, but for the most part, it has been a lot of fun. I always make comments about all the rednecks and bused-in Yankees buying all sorts of unbelievable crappy stuff. I have to admit that my fellow shoppers looked pretty good this year.) The constant Christmas music can cause an overdose of holiday sweetness. There are always a few pieces of merchandise to make a lewd comment about. I will never forget the mother in hair curlers towing a couple of disenchanted sons in their black heavy metal t-shirts as they bitched loudly at her. Those are some of my highlights from over the years. My point is that you can make your own fun at the Southern Christmas Show.
Held at The Park, a complex of over 224,000 square feet, the Southern Christmas Show is a festival of retail from around the country and the world. A large room of artisans from Charlotte’s sister cities offers a look into crafts from Europe, Asia and South America. You will find a few booths selling either current or soon to be “Seen on TV” products and this may be a chance to play with products that look interesting but you won’t buy unless you can try them out. What I find most interesting are the homemade products and business ideas that are featured here. Over the years there have been booths selling old printer blocks, jewelry made out of gold-plated leaves, lights and wind chimes made out of old soup and juice cans, and corn husk dolls. Only the “can art” booth is still around. Some of the retailers at the show have their own physical storefronts elsewhere, while others have websites or just make their living travelling from show to show. Whichever route these businesspeople have chosen, they will do their best to convince you to go home with their products.
Here is a list of my favorites:
1. Dirtworks Pottery (Exhibit Number: 21) is a staple of the Sea Grove, NC pottery scene and was one of the few examples of good hand-thrown pottery at the show.
2. O’Brien’s Irish Cottage (Exhibit Number: 3007, 3009) is a store out of Michigan that sells Irish merchandise I have never seen around here. Ms. O’Brien also has a website so you may see the things she could not bring to the show.
3. Duplin Wine Cellars (Exhibit Number: 27) is a North Carolina winery near Lumberton specializing in products made from the muscadine grape. The wine is good and so is their new product line of wine slushy kits.
If you decide to attend the show, which ends November 20, I have no doubt that you will leave with gifts and stories but I must pass along this advice.
1. Children go for free, so be sure to watch out for strollers and rug rats underfoot. The strollers are bad enough, but anytime I see one of those double wide strollers, I just want to punch someone in the back of the head. Wagons have finally been outlawed and will not be allowed.
2. Newborns and toddlers do not belong at an event such as this. I do not have to explain why infants should be left at home and I won’t. Toddlers do not want to walk around looking at adult asses for five hours. I’d be cranky too.
3. People with large wheeled milk crates or suit cases should be punched in the back of the head, or at least be sent to their own special hell. Undoubtedly, you will encounter one of these shoppers drooling over an object as they have their wheeled obstruction halfway out in the aisle and you trip over it while trying to slip by.
I have some advice on the method my mom and I have used over the years to avoid the need to bring a shopping cart. Remember, you do not have to buy as you go along. Take a map and a pen with you. If you like something, circle the location on the map and make a note at the top of the page with the exhibit number next to it. If necessary, ask the vendor to hold it if you know you will be coming back. Finally, use the notes you made and buy it on the way out. This way, you may find yourself second guessing an early decision or find a better deal. Toting fewer items with you during the event will make the show a lot more fun.
The Southern Christmas Show is a good time for friends, married couples, and family, but not toddlers. It has been a lot of fun for my me and my mother. I would not change a thing. OK, I would change one thing. That first year as a student at UNCC… I wouldn’t have drunk so much alcohol the night before I went. The Southern Christmas Show and a hangover is not a good combination. Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
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